Shigesato Itoi - Whale

Let's Meet in a Dream is a compilation of essays and short stories from Shigesato Itoi and Haruki Murakami. You may know Murakami from such works as The Winding Bird Chronicles and Norwegian Wood--the latter of which will soon be on the big screen, but unless you've played Earthbound, you have probably never heard of Shigesato Itoi. Itoi and Murakami are equally well known in Japan for their somewhat odd stories and in some cases their even odder personas. (Just take Itoi's supposed attempts at excavating the legendary Tokugawa treasure buried under Mt. Ikagi). But enough talk of these writers strange lives, their weirdness will be clear just by looking at their stories.

Let's Meet in a Dream was published in the early 80's long before either of the writers were known at all in America or Europe. So, unfortunately, no English translations were ever published.

The following story, Whale, is my translation from the Chinese localization of "Let's meet in a Dream."

(The stories posted here are my own translations for purposes of study only.)

Whale

While the singer was being interviewed she always pressed the microphone too close to her lips, so that the wire screen was covered with her red lipstick. But the microphone was only a device, so you couldn't that say it was excited nor disgusted by it. The voice of the lipstick smearing singer sounded from the speaker.

-I would like to ask the interviewer a question. Do you eat whale?

Here it comes, I ought to answer. My coworkers are all staring at me.

The singer really didn't listen to my reply, her face just gave a knowing little smile. This time it was my turn to snatch the microphone.

-Of. Course. I. Do.

Well, truthfully speaking, for the past several years I hadn't eaten whale. But my friend's father-in-law was a fisherman in Shikoku, and he said that whale tail is better eatin' than anything else. Because of this, my answer seemed to have already been decided.

The translator--whose makeup was much thicker than a theater performer's--seemed to stress my answer. She spoke loudly, in English.

-Of course! Always.

Thinking it over a bit, it really was an accurate translation.

I was quick to continue, as if I were building my case, and I added in Japanese,

-Whale is really good, it's my favorite thing to eat. I eat whale, dolphin, and chikuwa. What about it?

The singers face flooded with a tide of red. She held her breath for a bit, and slowly she said something to me. Her blue eyes surrounded by a mass of tiny wrinkles were opened wide, as if to pierce though me.

The translator's eyes were opened just as wide. She swallowed, then spoke.

-Starting today, please don't eat anymore whale, dolphin, or chikuwa.

(Chikuwa is a type of fish cake made of fish, starch, sugar, and MSG)